New Year

OK, a certain person doesnt ring or write and the text message I got.... UPDATE YOUR BLOG!! hehehe

Well things are alot better, yes was reading into things that were not there. Since then, I have been in hospital having some surgery from where I had my first son Jack. Ohhhh it hurts, but everyone calls me MAry now lol.

Off work for a while longer, another 4 weeks in fact, and ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW !ST JANUARY

Guess how old????? yep thats right 26 lol

Anyway, I am off now as I cannot sit for long in one spot hehehehehehe. But I am wishing everyone a Happy New Year and hoping 2008 is good for you all.

Questions so many questions

Ok, I know I have not written on here for a while. Dont know who else to speak to, my world is a little upside down at the moment.

A few weeks ago Rick stepped over the flirting bowndaries with someone infront of me, after flirting rather prevocatively he went up to her and kissed her on the lips. A few weeks later I noticed him nuzzling from behind her in the shop.

A few days later he tells me he isnt ready for marriage and doesnt want to marry me!!

What am I thinking??? I feel fat, and unloved, I dont know if he is doing the same to me as he was his ex partner. Maybe I just feel so insecure with myself, you see, this girl is young and has a great figure.

Why am I saying this all now, because he told me he was working late, I have tried calling him at the shop, no reply and his mobile, no reply, I have also text him, no reply.

Am I just reading into this because I feel so low about myself, my self esteem completely non existant at present, or am I being Nieve? I do so love him, and I am still in love with him, I thought I trusted him, but things over the last month have been a little bit of a roller coaster ride and I dont know whether I am coming or going.

The stupid thing is, I expect I would have him back even if he did have an afair. Oh god, I wish someone could give me the answers.

Back Again

Someone in particular, is moaning yet again that I am not updating my blog enough, so here I am!!!

Well life is getting better and better. Rick is now the new store partner for Hein Gericke UK in Southampton. He is loveling it and I must admit, i love working there at weekends aswell. Life is hectic, looking after the kids and doing a full time job (sales Co-ordinator) aswell as working weekends with Rick aswell as doing his books and payroll.

I am hoping to get a new bike next year, a bright orange ZX6. hehehehehehe that would go well with someone uniform!! Have not got out much on my baby so far this year, not witht he awfull weather we have been having, but fingers crossed it will brighton up soon.

Anyway I have to rush, need to hoover the house up, and do the ironing, its the only chance I get nowadays.

xx

Moan Moan

OK Im having a particular person moaning cause I am not keeping up with my blog. So here I am.

Job is great, I have made some good mates both in work and away. Then, just as we sold our car to pay off some of Ricks Bike Rick rolled it and wrote it off. We are still waiting for his consultants job to come through should be in the next few months, fingers crossed.

I had to cope for the first time ever with one of my children having Knits!!!! Not fun, I spent an hour cleaning her hair, and then a week later..... yep you guest it she had it again.

Got a few busy weeks coming up with traveling up and down the country. But at least im not sitting at home moping.

Anyway, I promise (and honestly I have not got my fingers crossed) I will keep this up to date. Will let you know how the weekend went, and maybe post some pics.

DEEPER & DEEPER

Well, nothing ever seems to go right for me and mine. Yes I got a new job, then Rick lost his, trying to get out of the difficult we got into when I was not working, soon as we see a light at the end of the tunnel something else happens.!!!
I took my sons kitten to the vets last night and found out she had Cat Flu, I was told that she could recover as she is young, however after 3 days in pet hospital I would have to bring her home and although my other cats are vacinated they could get it and the two old ones wouldnt survive it. I was then told that just last night was going to cost me £150, the weekend treatment would make it to £300 and then the specialist food and other injections she will need to get over it will mean the bill would come to over £600!! Ok financialy I have not got that kind of money, at my old vets they used to let me pay monthly, but these guys at Pet SMart wouldnt even hear of it. Do you know what they said to me??? "if you cant afford the treatment then we will either stop treatment and put her down or you will have to sign her over to the Cat protection Society. What choice did I have??? So I said goodbye to her and came home crying my eyes out. I am not an irrisponsible cat owner, I have had cats for 16 years with no problems, and they are still healthy, he looked down his nose at me. The lady at the cat protection legue was fantastic, understood my problem and offered to take over the care of her and pay for the vets bill. But it still means I have lost my kitten and will never see her ever again. As you can understand I am broken hearted, i cant stop crying, and as for my son the only option I have so as he doesnt hate me and for him to have closure is for me to tell him his kitten has died!! Not looking forward to it!!

Why oh why can I not have some luck in my life?????

Relaxing

I had forgotten what weekends actualy meant until now. When the weekend comes I know I get a lie in, relaxation time and I dont have to think! (much anyway) Apart from the washing, ironing, cleaning and feeding I can relax and enjoy. In fact next weekend is going to be even better, the ex is picking the kids up on Friday and having them all weekend, the kids have not seen him for a month as he has been off in south africa on holiday!! (mmm and pays me £50 a week for 3 kids)(not bad for someone who only claims to the CSA he is on $250 a week!!) Actualy whilst we are on the subject it still really gets my goat.
He has claimed poverty from the word go, I kept my dignity in the divorce as I let him have everything he wanted...£20k from the house, the galaxy car which he sold for £10k, my shares for the company which were worth over £30k and the company itself. What did he end up with, A jacuzi in the back garden, a brand new house with his design inside, A projection tv, computerised house with cctv, A brand new lotus, designer clothes (I am talking £100 a pair of jeans) and so far in the last year he has had 9 holidays abroad, places like South Africa, New York, Prague let alone Spain, Tenerife, France. And he told the CSA he was earning £250 a week so they allocated him to pay me £50 towards the keep of the children, thats not each thats for ALL three. I have no feelings whats so ever for him, I am not jelous of what he has ( in my opinion I have alot more, I am in love and loved by a wonderful man and I have a home and my children)(not all in that order I may add) It just realy grates me to think he can get away will lieing again when it comes down to money. Thats all the man ever used to really love...Money!

OK I am getting off me soap box..... Looking forward to next weekend as it means I can get out on my bike if the weather picks up. And myself and Rick get some our time.

Had a good weekend this week, my brother came down, its been nice seeing him, we had a little spat a few months ago and havnt really had much to do with each other, so it was nice seeing and spending time with him again.

Really loving my job, I have been there 4 weeks now and I dont wake up in the morning thinking "Oh God I have to go to work" The people are great and the work is varied, never the same each day. (still like my weekends better though) Maybe its just because I appreciate them more now.

Oh well another week ahead, then the kids break up for easter, I do hope the school club is running, or Im stuffed!!!

Weekend

Well, its Sunday, I have been at my new job now for two weeks and Rick has been out of work for a week, money is as tight as ever, people banging on the door for money, mortgage not paid again this month!!! (oops) but do you know what?????
Today was great!!!!!

We have been stripping a mates Fireblade down as he has not got time to mend it, got my hands dirty, and then decided to leave Rick to it (the cleaning part lol) as the weather was soo nice decided to take my betty out for a run. OMG!!!! I remember now why i love riding so much. Got on the dual carriageway between Poole and Upton and had to give it a good run, to blow the cob webs out and make it fire on four cyclinders again (bearing in mind she hasnt been rode for 4-5 months) before I knew it I was doing over a 100. Wooohoooo what fun!"!!!! Its scary how easily you end up speeding on my little baby but Ohhhh it felt good, almost as good as...... (I did say almost) The old commardory of bikers was about, every biker nodded and acknowledged (there were alot of us out) The sun beating down on me as I became one with Betty once more. Cant waite for Rick to get another bike when the insurance pays out so as we can go riding together, must admit felt guilty putting the leathers on and leaving him at home (only for a second though) once I got down the road the guilt had passed lol.
What do you think about when riding??? Nothing!!!!! all your troubles and worries seem to disapear, you concentrate on the road and the bike and enjoy....... Thats why I love riding so much,it doesnt matter how skint you are, whats going wrong in your life (not much is at the moment apart from money like everyone) your troubles go and you listen to the wind as it goes through your lid... Thats my heavon. Ohh cant waite for more weekends with this weather!!!

One of Those Days

Its been one of those days, whilst cleaning the house up, with music music very very load...oooh I had fun.
Have you ever had one of those days when you just had to turn the volume up and sing along, so far I have listened to:

• Alisha's Attic
• Nora Jones
• Pink Floyd
• Kate Bush

Now what to listen to now??????/??

February

Well, today was the close of something I loved doing with someone I loved working with. I finished working for a company I have been with since September 2006, I know it doesnt seem a long time, but I loved working there. My Boss Brad was great, he is a great person in general, great MD and great Boss all round. I am going to miss him more than I am going to miss the company if I am truthfull. Sometimes in life its hard to find bosses that you get on with so well, well I was lucky and found such a boss.... scrub that he wasnt my boss he became my friend, and I hope we stay that way even though I am moving onto new pastures.
If you are reading this Brad, thank you for everything, and thank you for understanding the reasons for me leaving.
Yes I cried my eyes out when saying goodbye to everyone, and handing all my work over, it felt final and over, but hay.... new start new job, so I need to get excited about Monday.
Sometimes in life you have to make decisions that you really dont want to make, this was one of those decisions.

Stockholm Syndrome

Right serious chat now. Today I had my mum on the phone in tears, wondering if for over 25 years my brother has been suffering from Stockholm Syndrome and if there was anything she could have done 25 years ago to help him. No was my answere, there wasnt enough help back then for victims like my brother. Carl was strangled and drowned by Denis Nielson back in 1982 in North London, he then decided to bring him back to life. Carl has never gotten over this and for years has pushed his family away blaming them for what happened to him, and for what happens to him now. The truth is this, we couldnt cope. We couldnt cope with the endless drunken phone calls threatening suicide, the men he picked up and got involved with that beat him. He turned to drink to hide his hurt and pain and memories, he blames family for not believing him, or for being there for him, yet the truth is, we didnt have support to deal with his questions and neither did he. That day 25 years ago, the funny happy young man WAS killed, even though his body suvives. He used to write letters to Neilson, asking questions, just talking, he sees him as his savior as well as him murderer. How can anyone comment on what these victims go through and how they handle it, not untill they themselves go through it can they place blame.

Night at the Museum

Well, even though I felt like death warmed up over the weekend, we went to the cinema and watched "Night at the Museum". Most of the critics have slated this film, however I found it really funny, there were alot of jokes in there that i noticed not many adults got. The one thing that let it down was that bloke out of the office, he has not talent, he played the same character as he did in the office and is so annoying!!. I find him as funny as a blocked up nose, and as for is arogancy in his normal life....well!!!
Yes I would recommend this film, however, 5 mins to the end a child behind be threw up, so kept getting wafts of the smell which made me feel really ill!

best blonde joke ever!

I had to post this one, I was in stitches (only becuase it would be something I would do lol)
THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut &stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" To which she replied, "There certainly is!" (Are you ready? This is a beauty...) My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL!

Rick wants said at his funeral

OK, me and Rick talk about morbid things, and what I have said below is what he would like read out at his funeral. But I thought it was such a lovely verse I would share it.

Do not stand at my grave and weepI am not there; I do not sleep.I am a thousand winds that blow,I am the diamond glints on snow,I am the sun on ripened grain,I am the gentle autumn rain.When you awaken in the morning's hushI am the swift uplifting rushOf quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry, I am not there; I did not die.

CORGI

Today is not a great day, I feel awful. However just to let you all know. I moved into this house 6 months ago, the previous owners had a new boiler fitted and apparently CORGI now do spot checks on all boilers that are installed. You see the plumber who installed it has to inform corgi, they then come round and make sure it was installed correctly, all of this is FREE service from CORGI. What great guys, he found a fault in mine and now the plumber has 14 days to put it right.

Funny ha ha

My dear friend Stuart sent this email to myself and Rick last night, I did chuckle, please any german people reading this dont take offence.

Actual Exchanges Between Pilots and Control TowersTower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock , 6 miles!" Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!" ************************************************************************************************** Tower: "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees." TWA 2341: "Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" Tower: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?" **************************************************************************************************** >From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm f...ing bored!" Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!" Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!" **************************************************************************************************** O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock , three miles, Eastbound." United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this...I've got the little Fokker in sight." ****************************************************************************************************** A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known position?" Student: "When I was number one for takeoff." ***************************************************************************************************** A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down. San Jose Tower Noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadeloupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport." ****************************************************************************************************** A Pan Am 727 flight, waiting for start clearance in Munich , overheard the following: Lufthansa (in German): " Ground, what is our start clearance time?" Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English." Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany . Why must I speak English?" Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war!"
******************************************************************************************************* Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7" Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way,after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway." Tower: " Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?" BR Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern... we've already notified our caterers." ******************************************************************************************************** One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?" The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one." *******************************************************************************************************

The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206. Speedbird 206: " Frankfurt , Speedbird 206! clear of active runway." Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven." The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop. Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?" Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now." Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?" Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, -- And I didn't land." ******************************************************************************************************
While taxiing at London 's ,t Airport, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming: "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going? I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!" Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: "God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour, and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?" "Yes, ma'am," the humbled crew responded. Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high. Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking: "Wasn't I married to you once?"

Hey thought best to post a piccy so as you know who is saying all of this. This picture was taken of me at Brands Hatch watching world superbikes, lovely hot weekend, some excellent bike racing, good old bear, and plenty of blonde moments, especially for me lol

ERBS PALSY

Another really important thing in my life is a condition called ERBS PALSY or brachial plexis. My son Jack was born with this condition 9 years ago, and it is brought on by the babies shoulder being stuck and the nerves being ripped out of the arm, it can lead to further injuries like brain damage aswell, however i was lucky and Jack has just got a paralised arm. Please visit www.erbspalsygroup.co.uk for more information on this condition. Its alot for kids to live with, aswell as the physical disability its also the torture they get from other kids and adults. The comments i hear from other parents about the difference in his arms and they dont realise i hear, and those type of comments filter down to the kids and they repeat it to the kids that are affected.
Jack has gone through 2 lots of surgery so far with another one booked in for the end of this month, he is basically having his wrist sawn in half, rotated and pinned so as he can tie shoe laces, hold his book when writing and ride a bike a little easier.
Kids with Erbs Palsy are determined to live a normal life, us as parents never see the condition we just see our kids, nothing stops them from trying new things, we as adults should look up to them for that.
I would like to thank Motorbike riders for their help in helping erbs palsy kids, the operation Jack had at 3 months was a nerve graft which was discovered to work for motorcyclists who had had a accident and experienced the same condition, they then tried the same operation on the kids, although not with the same success, but with out this operation Jack wouldnt be able to move his arm as much as he does. Thanks guys.
The erbs palsy group is run by volenteers, parents with children with Erbs Palsy, they educate the health care profession, aswell as give other parents support and the kids themselves, they rely solely on donations. Please take a look.

UN FAIR

Well, first posting and I already feel like I am ranting. I am going to tell you a little story, back in May 2006 we were out for the evening on our bikes (motorbikes not pushbikes, im not that good at excercise) When my other half and friend went off ahead (as they have powerfull bikes) when I finally caught up I noticed that they had been pulled by the police, so rather than leaving my friend and other half I pulled in behind them... I got off my bike and was confronted with a police officer saying "Ooh goodie 3 for the price of two" he was talking about the number plates we had on our bikes, mine was 2mm smaller than the legal limit, but alot more visible than some car number plates may I add. He then showed a video to my accomplices of his car following a mini and then a hedge, (he told us that was him trying to catch up with them but as they were going so fast he couldnt) He actually got stuck behind the mini and a 1200 and a 1000cc bike will out excelerate a car most days, and it was a 60mph road. Anyway to cut a long story short, the two blokes were issued with a notice of intended prosecution and I was given in the officers words " You can have a fixed penalty notice for your number plate or enjoy a family day out at court with the other two" I obviously chose the £30 fine. Ok Its now January 2007 and the boys got a letter from the police saying there was lack of evidence and no further charges would be brought, yay thats great news..... hang on I was the biggest number plate out of the three and I am the only one who got fined, and I only stopped to make sure they were ok....... HOW UNFAIR!!!!!!